tired

wow. it seems like no matter how much sleep I get or how much I rest, I am always tired. I feel like I could lay down and sleep forever and still be sleepy. Not sure why either. Probably dying from something and just don't know it. oh well, gotta go sometime I suppose. Just wish I had more energy to get some of this work done around here. Its just regular house stuff, but I'd like it done before summer hits and I would rather be out riding and camping than house work. That and if I am dying my lil bro would hate me to leave him all my chores. HAHAHA. *sighs* well I'm done for now. Later all!

a taste of happiness

So i have just been moping around my house depressed for the last few days, thinking mostly about how my life completly sucks compared to what i had planned for it by now. So with this on my mind, I called in sick to work and decided to go bar hopping alone on ST. Patricks Day. maybe id find a nice place to hang out i thought. well i got out and out of the blue started running into friends that i hadn't hung out with since high school. so i spent the whole night catching up with a BUNCH of old friends. people i hadn't spoken to in years. met more new friends than I will bother to count too. the day turned from depression to just plain awesome in a matter of a few hours. got to hear an awesome jam band and had a wonderful time. it was good. Maybe things are starting to look up for ol' Solo.....

misc. stuff i like

Funny Pics & MySpace Layouts

habits...

have you ever caught yourself doing something...alot, and then get annoyed that your doing it? For instance, saying a word way more than any word should ever be said? I wonder why we do such things. I think it all comes from our basic desire to be accepted by the people around us. Our want to fit in, so we just copy the things that our immediate commrades do, and maybe in the proccess take it a little to far. Those sort of things really bother me. I guess because I have always tried to be different, but catch myself trying to fit in at the same time. My friend calls it the "herd" instinct. like cattle. thats why we use the media to determine popular fashion. it all goes back to fitting in, and just like individuals... the popular beliefs have changed many times over the years. In medevil Europe it was considered a SIN to bathe. Now higene is one of the biggest industries in the world. think about it. smoking in the us. in WW1 and WW2 U.S. forces were givin cigarettes in thier rations.. now there are whole towns that have banned smoking within city limits, and guess who is leading the pack with the most anti smoking adds? philip morris, only the biggest tobacco company in the U.S. Fitting in is a very strange instinct. tis why I feel that you should do what you like as apposed to what is popular,cause who knows in a few years it might be the "in" thing....

Lonely

man its weird walking around an empty house that used to be filled with people non stop. its like your the only person left who cares about you. hollow. thats a good way to decribe it. you feel hollow and empty. it would be nice just to have someone to lean on you when you watch a movie, but nobody is here but the dog. even the dog seems depressed about not having anybody around. I feel like I could just climb on my motorcycle and ride off and dissapear and never be missed. its hard trying to live feeling this way. its hard. only a few friends have kept me around. just a few.